This week, Nate and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary. Marriage has been great! We’ve of course had some highs and some lows, but such is life (not such is marriage). And it left me thinking, why do people make such a big deal about all these obstacles we’re supposed to have after we promise each other till death do us part?
On the night of our wedding, we had our own written vows, where we called each other our best friends, amidst jokes of packing the dishwasher correctly and matzah ball soup. Someone, who had been married for 20+ years, came up to me and said, that’s a beautiful thing, that you all are best friends. I had questions… Are you not best friends with your spouse? Was that a weird thing to say? Are we WEIRD?
I’ve thought about this conversation a good deal and I’ve come up with an answer. No. No, we’re not weird, but we’re very different than the previous generations. Between being judged about being the “Hook-up Generation,” forgetting how to date (yes, an article told us we forgot how to do this), using apps to meet people, getting married later, and cohabitating before marriage, a lot of them are ignoring a really simple difference. We are becoming friends before we even think of “going steady” (is that still a phrase?).
Divorce rates are declining since the 1990’s. Yes, millennials are waiting longer to get married and yes, we’re moving in together beforehand (via Business Insider). I’m no scientist or statistician, but I think with all that they’re theorizing, they’re missing the friendship factor.
I am incredibly thankful and lucky that I have that relationship with my husband. It makes both happy and sad large life events seem more manageable and makes everyday things into a memory.
Sound off! What are your thoughts? Are you with your best friend?
January 20, 2017